LOUD FARTS

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MikeyB
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LOUD FARTS

Post by MikeyB »

Approximately how many times a day do you release a real blaster? :lol:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by richardsimmons »

Anywhere between 6 & 40. I’m talking loud-ies.

Depends on the day, the meals of the previous 24 hours, the beer, the kombucha, many many factors!

Change my username to FartFactory420.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Bruce »

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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by MikeyB »

richardsimmons wrote: Fri Aug 13, 2021 6:42 am Anywhere between 6 & 40. I’m talking loud-ies.

Depends on the day, the meals of the previous 24 hours, the beer, the kombucha, many many factors!

Change my username to FartFactory420.
thanks for your candor! :lol:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by richardsimmons »

MikeyB wrote: Fri Aug 13, 2021 7:07 am
thanks for your candor! :lol:
Anything for a friend !

😆 💩
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Potato Salad »

My farts sound like gunshots.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by MikeyB »

:lol:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by KISSTRONAUT »

Modesty and discretion are best in such matters.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by MikeyB »

KISSTRONAUT wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 8:35 am Modesty and discretion are best in such matters.
:roll:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by KISSTRONAUT »

MikeyB wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 9:20 am
KISSTRONAUT wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 8:35 am Modesty and discretion are best in such matters.
:roll:
Eye rolls are acceptable, your stinky farts aren’t. Excuse yourself and go to the toilet. Act like there’s a real lady around. Besides you might spread Covid out your raunchy anus.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by MikeyB »

KISSTRONAUT wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 1:01 pm
MikeyB wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 9:20 am
KISSTRONAUT wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 8:35 am Modesty and discretion are best in such matters.
:roll:
Eye rolls are acceptable, your stinky farts aren’t. Excuse yourself and go to the toilet. Act like there’s a real lady around. Besides you might spread Covid out your raunchy anus.
:lol:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by KISSTRONAUT »

MikeyB wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 2:27 pm
KISSTRONAUT wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 1:01 pm
MikeyB wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 9:20 am
KISSTRONAUT wrote: Wed Aug 25, 2021 8:35 am Modesty and discretion are best in such matters.
:roll:
Eye rolls are acceptable, your stinky farts aren’t. Excuse yourself and go to the toilet. Act like there’s a real lady around. Besides you might spread Covid out your raunchy anus.
:lol:
:D
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Bruce »

When unsure if its a shit, or a fart, do any of you just let it rip, anyway?
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by richardsimmons »

Bruce wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 10:15 pm When unsure if its a shit, or a fart, do any of you just let it rip, anyway?
Always sit down on the John if ya can’t trust the fart.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Bruce »

Sometimes, the way its percolating, deep within, leans slightly, but perceptively one way ... or another. Knock on wood, I haven't misjudged my bowels, yet. Due, in part, to my releasing test farts of limited quantity. If its light, airy and quickly released, then I give the 0K to release the whole batch. But if it comes out slow, thick -- and hot -- then it came too close for comfort from very near the source of it ...
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by MikeyB »

Bruce wrote: Sun Sep 26, 2021 12:49 am Sometimes, the way its percolating, deep within, leans slightly, but perceptively one way ... or another. Knock on wood, I haven't misjudged my bowels, yet. Due, in part, to my releasing test farts of limited quantity. If its light, airy and quickly released, then I give the 0K to release the whole batch. But if it comes out slow, thick -- and hot -- then it came too close for comfort from very near the source of it ...
Your articulation, my dear Bruce, is mesmerizing!
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Erwin »

Bruce wrote: Sun Sep 26, 2021 12:49 am test farts
Could be a username... :drunken:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Bruce »

MikeyB wrote: Sun Sep 26, 2021 5:58 am Your articulation, my dear Bruce, is mesmerizing!
One should write clearly, and in the Queen's English. That is, if we are going to converse on this forum.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by MikeyB »

Bruce wrote: Sun Sep 26, 2021 7:32 am
MikeyB wrote: Sun Sep 26, 2021 5:58 am Your articulation, my dear Bruce, is mesmerizing!
One should write clearly, and in the Queen's English. That is, if we are going to converse on this forum.
:salut:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Bruce »

Erwin wrote: Sun Sep 26, 2021 6:16 am Could be a username... :drunken:
Bruce the Flatulent, or better yet: All Gas No Brakes!
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by mamado »

Turd. :flower:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Bruce »

Always remember: though you can't polish a turd, you can roll it in glitter ...
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by mamado »

Bruce wrote: Sun Sep 26, 2021 3:18 pm Always remember: though you can't polish a turd, you can roll it in glitter ...
FACT!!! :salut: :salut: :salut: :flower:

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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Ace of Bass »

I bet Gene farts all of the time just to torture Eric.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Hi I'm Witz »

The way my body works, it seems that all my farts come first thing in the morning and then I'm pretty much good the rest of the day.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Bruce »

There is autonomic control in the anal sphincter, which prevents the release of feces when you fall asleep. It also would control the release of gas. Therefore, you are likely only to pass gas when you reassert conscious control of the sphincter in the transition to wakefulness. You could then allow it to open ... at your will.
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by AstroWarped »

And then there is this Guitar Pedal:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/st ... fart-pedal
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Black Ace »

Bruce wrote: Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:49 am There is autonomic control in the anal sphincter, which prevents the release of feces when you fall asleep. It also would control the release of gas. Therefore, you are likely only to pass gas when you reassert conscious control of the sphincter in the transition to wakefulness. You could then allow it to open ... at your will.
:lol:
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Re: LOUD FARTS

Post by Bruce »

Setting farts ablaze may be environmentally friendly: